So here we are … 2 days past the due date of offspring number two … a.k.a. – The #StephensRemix version. Guaranteed to be chock full o’ fun given the recent ultrasound predictive weight of 7.7 lbs. Yeah, that was 3 weeks ago. Let’s just say that we either have a world record placenta or the remix version shares her daddy’s BMI.
Let me first begin by saying that my esteemed spouse is a Rockstar! And I’m not just saying that to keep on her side (maybe a little, but not so much). I have watched her grow in spirit and girth for 9 going on 26 months it seems and not once has she complained. Not once. So, shout out to the old lady!
Now, I fancy myself as a secure type of guy (some may say Bruce Willis-esque), so when I was recently approached by my wife to take a day off work and spend it together getting pedicures I was definitely all in. One last hurrah. The final countdown. 60 minutes of bliss before the storm … child free. For those of you who know the Stephens fam well, you can only snicker at the fact that our pedicure of solitude was parallel with the newest play area and it was crammed full. Go figure.
The experience began simply and innocently enough. A little small talk. A few questions about what we wanted and then …
The not at all attractive pedicurist person gleefully exclaimed, “Ohhh, so you a pedicure virgin!” And we were off. Did I mention that she was not the least bit attractive?
I’ll spare you all of the details, but let’s just say that there could be a 12-step program for this shiz … warm water, massage chair, oils, scrubs, paraffin baggies. Hello, my name is Chuck and I get pedicures. Often. The aforementioned snot toting toddlers just 20 feet away? Never heard them. It was definitely a “Calgon take me away” moment and it was pure bliss. Add in the fact that it was just me and my better half experiencing it together … pure perfection.
Upon leaving we had the rest of the day to spend kid-free with our silky smooth tootsies! What to do, what to do? The day was ours! Adventure awaits!
We did what ALL wise parents do when the kids are away …
We took a nap.